 Even after immersing myself in somatic integration work and mind-body-spirit alignment for several years, I still sometimes suffer imposter syndrome, and wonder whether the slow, patient, steady space I am holding is really moving the needle for people...
 The eve of our Spring Equinox ritual at the Body & Soul Sanctuary brought a fresh visitation of rain.
I stood at my altar in my office, having cleared it completely for a full reset, lit incense, and cracked the window to hear and smell the wet air...  This morning I learned an Ostara/Spring Equinox story that felt like a beautiful example of my soul work, and the work we do in the Body & Soul Sanctuary.
Apparently, the word "Easter" is tied to a Germanic goddess named Eostre who radiates warmth from within, much like the Greek goddess Demeter (mother of Persephone) who represents the verdancy of spring. Eostre is often followed by creatures, including birds, who are messengers of her radiance and joy, helping it spread to the far corners.  Maitreya
There is a barren desert hidden in my viscera, where a version of me has been for ages, thirsty, alone, hearing only wind. Even now, though, the thought of wind brightens me, like a long-lost uncle tickling the trees. Visiting the ocean and floating in her warm, gentle arms near the Mexican whale nursery was like wind chimes reaching that place where nothing had touched for eons, was like the face of a friend I thought had died, appearing suddenly, windblown, glowing. And now: I cannot numb anymore this ache of loneliness which has followed me for generations. There is a rumble in my body like tectonic plates, rearranging. This next seed vibrates an underground thunder, hooves of wild horses stampeding through dust toward the smell of water toward the smell of water... Oh, my heart. Oh, my ancestors. Oh, my children. Kiss this seed with me. She is all of our seed. She is the memory of the star that birthed us all.  I’ve just returned from Mexico, still thrumming with the warm, gentle ocean energy that rocked my nervous system into a new level of coherence.
 I’m coming to you from the tender alchemy of a new identity, still raw and not yet fully formed.
I’ve been shedding a major pattern in my life: overcompensating, overperforming, overdoing.  One of the most powerful principles from my training in trauma resolution training is this:
We do not heal by reliving pain. We heal by restoring pleasure where it was interrupted.  As we move through the final stretch of the Year of the Wood Snake, many of us are feeling it: old patterns surfacing, structures wobbling, roles and relationships no longer able to stay ambiguous.
This is the part of the cycle where the snake shakes its tail — not to create chaos for its own sake, but to shed what can’t come forward. What I’m seeing, again and again, is this:  Wherever you are today, however you are today, whoever you're with (or not with): I'm sending a wish for the just-right-size sense of being at peace within yourself within this life, even amidst the changes afoot. If you're curious to watch a recent podcast interview I did, check out my conversation with Earl James on the "Deal to Heal" podcast, on the theme "When Pain Shapes Identity--And How to Heal." Popping in today to express my gratitude to each of you who have followed my journey and the development of my work over this past year. I am in awe of how amazing life can become when we really do say "yes" to the journey of uncovering our authentic selves and letting them lead our lives. Here's an exclusive, short clip (58 seconds) of me sharing a proud moment with my posse (crysalis) within the Sanctuary, yesterday: |
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